At 宝博体育 Education, we provide our SAT students with routine practice tests in order to gauge improvement and address weaknesses. One of these practice SATs includes an essay prompt which asks, “Is it necessary to make mistakes in order to learn?”

In reading responses to this question, you see a lot of students citing examples like Edison and his many failed light bulbs or variations of the truism “If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again.” But for every student who offers a hopeful view of a world in which mankind learns through trial and error, there are at least three more students who claim that mistakes are terrible and could never teach us anything.

This tendency to avoid mistakes like the plague is a symptom of a deeper problem among the Millennial generation: Millennials have been overprotected and are too often unprepared for the real world.

This past weekend, I witnessed a perfect example of this. I accompanied my young sister to her freshman orientation at a small local college. During the orientation, the students registered for their classes with the help of faculty mentors while the parents were held captive in a large auditorium. I quickly lost count of the number of parents who asked why they would not be allowed to choose their children’s classes for them. Several parents simply left the room, intent on finding their children regardless of the school administrators’ preferences. And those parents who remained behind spent the entire time anxiously texting their children. I had believed that my sister had sufficient confidence to create her own class schedule, but my phone soon began vibrating nonstop with text messages from my sister asking for advice, reassurance, and guidance in her course selections.

While the clear care and devotion that these parents hold for their children is most certainly admirable, I couldn’t help but contrast this experience with my own freshman orientation. I attended alone, as did most of the other students. I registered for classes alone, without giving it a second thought. I believe I might have called my parents a week or two later to share my class selections with them, but they certainly didn’t play an active role. And this wasn’t thirty years ago – it was a mere decade ago.

Following her orientation, my sister the Millennial immediately began second-guessing her choices, agonizing over the idea that she may have made a mistake. No matter how often I reminded her that she would still be able to change her schedule before classes start, she continued to obsess over the possibility that she might not have made the right choice the first time around.

Why are Millennials so terrified of being wrong? Why are they frozen by the idea of failure?

Sanitizing Gel

The Millennials grew up in an interesting era. Raised largely by Baby Boomers, these children were the first to grow up in child-proofed homes with every electrical outlet covered in plastic. They were the first to have their hands constantly sanitized with alcohol gel and the first to play on rubber-coated playgrounds. They were the first generation to be rewarded for participation and effort rather than actual success, and the first generation to be graded in green ink rather than red lest red ink send too harsh a negative message.

In sum, the Millennials enjoyed a sanitized childhood in which their parents, teachers, and coaches made every effort to smooth the harsh bumps of growing up. Parents of Millennials want their children to succeed – they provide them with every possible opportunity and push them to excel in school – but have Millennial parents inadvertently gone too far?

Professors at the Mercy of Students

College grade inflation is well documented and has been going on since the Vietnam War. But although grade inflation began decades before Millennials were even born, it got a lot worse in the late 1990s, just as the first Millennials hit college campuses. In fact, it was right around that time that the number of A’s given out exceeded the number of B’s.

As any college professor would likely tell you, Millennial students (and often their parents) demand high grades, even if they aren’t earned. One college professor writes, “The students were relentless. During the spring semester, they showed up at my office to insist I reread their papers and boost their grades. They asked to retake tests they hadn’t done well on. They bombarded me with e-mails questioning grades. More harassed me to change their final grade.”

And one has to wonder: Why do these kids think they are entitled to better grades? The answer, according to John Watson, who teaches journalism ethics and communications law at American University, is that many of these students believe that simply working hard – even if the product isn’t very good – entitles them to an A.

The Millennial generation has grown up in an era governed by valuing individual self-esteem. They joined soccer teams that gave trophies to every player, no matter how skilled, and played in baseball games where no one kept score and you got as many strikes as you wanted. And while these practices are all well and good for kindergarteners, the pervasive societal attitude of “all children are amazingly special” continued all the way up to high school graduation. And so it is no wonder that they believe that merely attending class deserves a top grade.

And it has to be a TOP GRADE – anything less is unacceptable because anything less is failure. As one college professor writes, “Just the other day I had a student in my office regaling me with a tale of horror: she got a B once! Maybe I lacked the corresponding horror because my own undergraduate transcript was just over half B’s and B pluses — of which I was at times quite proud, having earned them in challenging courses in which it was clear that while I was bright, I was not in the top third or fourth of the class. And this fact didn’t actually bother me, because not everyone can be the best at everything.” And that’s the key, the missing lesson that Millennials still have to learn: No one can be the best at everything.

I do not disparage this younger generation – I believe that the Millennial generation has amazing potential to affect great change in our society. But only if they can learn to embrace failure. If this generation cannot learn to take risks, to fall down and get right back up, and to face up to their inevitable mistakes, then innovation and progress are doomed.

You walk into your teen’s messy room and wonder if perhaps a dirty laundry bomb has gone off. The floor is practically invisible beneath piles of laundry, books, papers, and dishes. The bed is unmade and the desk is covered in clutter. The closet doors won’t even close all the way because the clothes have begun to migrate out into the room.

“It’s MY room – if you don’t like how it looks, then close the door,” your teen shouts.

“It’s MY house – as long as you live under my roof, you follow my rules,” you reply.

And thus the endless cycle begins.

“Mess is a stubborn problem for teens,” writes Sue Shellenbarger of the Wall Street Journal. “They are old enough that parents expect them to exercise good hygiene habits and take responsibility for daily routines. But teens’ brains are still developing some of the cognitive skills needed to stick to a clean-up routine, such as controlling impulsivity, seeing others perspectives and understanding how current actions have future consequences.”

In addition to lacking these cognitive skills, teens are also exerting their independence. Their messy bedrooms are not intended to be a personal attack against their parents, but are often a way of demonstrating a teen’s individuality and independence. From a teen’s perspective, the bedroom is often the only space in the world that they can call their own; as a result, teens often grow very territorial and resent any parental attempts to control their space.

But although there are clear developmental and cognitive reasons for messy teen bedrooms, parents shouldn’t simply throw their hands in the air in resignation. Although it may seem like a fight you can’t win, the messy bedroom argument is still worth having.

A messy room is not merely a sign of teenage independence or of a lack of cognitive skills, but also a sign of a lack of willpower. Although most wouldn’t consider a lack of willpower as a teen to be a tragedy, studies have shown that willpower early in life is one of the best predictors of future success, more so even than intelligence in many cases. This might seem counterintuitive as people have long thought that raw intelligence was the most important attribute for success, but intelligence alone is simply not enough. After all, the smartest kid in the world won’t get very good grades without exerting enough willpower to complete homework assignments, and the smartest adult in the world won’t get very far in the workplace without the willpower to complete tasks in a timely manner.

Willpower and a clean bedroom can be a bit of a Catch-22. In the book Willpower by Roy F. Baumeister and John Tierney, the authors described experiments in which groups of people were led into one of two rooms. One room was neat and the other was a pigsty. Participants in both rooms were given tests that measured their self-control. The people in the clean room were more willing to wait for a reward – they preferred more money in a week than less money now, and selected healthier foods. The people in the pigsty were all for instant gratification – they preferred less money now and chose junk food over healthier options. So it would seem that a clean room can improve willpower, but it takes willpower to clean a room.

The good news is that additional studies have shown that willpower is like a muscle – the more you consistently use willpower, the more willpower you have. The authors of Willpower suggest that people slowly build up the strength of their self-control through small but regular exercises. What better way for your teen to build willpower than through maintaining a clean bedroom?

The next time that your teen argues about their messy room, don’t resort to the usual parental lecture. “My house, my rules” didn’t work for parents in the past, and it probably isn’t going to work now. Instead, remember that your child’s clean room is about more than simple tidiness – it’s about his future success. Then take a deep breath and try some of these tips:

• Don’t nag: Galling as it might be, your teen will probably respond more favorably if you talk to him the way that you would want your boss at work to talk to you. At this age, teens are eager to rebel, so don’t give them something to rebel against.
• Give reasons: No teen in the history of the universe has accepted the “It’s my house” argument as a good reason for keeping a clean room, and teens are a lot more likely to do what you ask of them if you can provide strong, logical reasons for your request. Try these:
  • Willpower is a key indicator of future success, and maintaining a neat(ish) room is an ideal way to build up self-control
  • A messy bedroom can be unsanitary – if you keep dirty dishes in your room, you’ll end up with bad smells, bad bugs, and potential diseases growing under your bed
  • Your future college roommate almost certainly won’t appreciate being forced to room with someone who can’t keep his dirty underwear in the hamper
  • Your friends aren’t going to want to hang out in a room where they can’t even sit without stumbling over dirty clothes
  • Set reasonable expectations: Your kid’s room probably won’t ever be immaculate. If you set the bar too high, you set your teen up for failure. Instead, set out reasonable cleanliness standards (i.e. dirty clothes in the hamper, clean clothes in the closet, dirty dishes in the sink, etc.) that your teen is more likely to actually meet.
  • Use a carrot: Teens respond to praise better than to punishments, so try to use incentives before resorting to threats. Money or extra privileges are always good motivators, but even simple praise can sometimes go a long way.
  • Try a stick: When the carrot doesn’t work, use a stick as a last resort. Threaten to take away privileges (i.e. no more rides to the movies, no more internet usage, no more cell phone, etc.). But if you make threats, you have to follow through!

Many people have forgotten the story of our national anthem – a true shame because it is a uniquely interesting tale.

Common Misconceptions About “The Star Spangled Banner”:

• The song was written during the Revolutionary War.
• Francis Scott Key was arrested by the British.
• Francis Scott Key was a well known poet.

The Real Story:

In 1814, during the War of 1812, the British invaded and captured Washington, DC. Not satisfied with occupying our nation’s capitol, they decided to burn it as well. Leaving the flaming city behind, the Brits headed for nearby Baltimore, eager to light more stuff on fire. On their way, they passed through Upper Marlboro where a patriot by the name of Dr. William Beanes caused some trouble for the English by arresting several of their soldiers. One of the arrested British soldiers escaped and reported this incident to his superiors. The British officers weren’t overly pleased by this development, and so they returned to Upper Marlboro where they arrested Dr. Beanes.

Dr. Beanes was a beloved resident of Upper Marlboro and the surrounding areas. When the local townsfolk were unable to secure his release, they sent for Francis Scott Key, a young lawyer in Georgetown. Key, who was a friend of the doctor’s, immediately set out for Baltimore with the intention of negotiating Dr. Beane’s release. Along the way, he was joined by Colonel John Skinner, a government agent in charge of arranging for the transfer of prisoners.

Meanwhile, Dr. Beanes was placed in the custody of the British Admiral Cochrane. When Key and Skinner reached Baltimore, they were escorted aboard the Tonnant, a British ship where Beanes was being held. The two men attempted to negotiate Beanes’s release, but the British refused. Finally, Skinner produced documents signed by wounded British soldiers testifying to the excellent treatment they received at the hands of the Americans. This greased the wheels and Cochrane agreed to release Beanes.

At this point, Key and Skinner, who had become aware of the British plans to attack Baltimore, were told that for security purposes they would not be allowed to return to land until after the Brits had completed their mission. The men were transferred to a smaller ship, but eventually the Admiral required this ship as well, so Key and Skinner were relegated to the small American boat on which they had first sailed. It was from this ship, anchored near the rear of the British fleet, that Key witnessed the British attack on Fort McHenry.

All through the night, Key watched with dread and fear as the British bombarded Baltimore. In the morning, when the first light of dawn revealed the American flag still flying above the fort, Key’s tense emotions found a release. As the British finished their attack, Key began to write the first words of a poem titled “Defence of Fort McHenry”, later retitled “The Star Spangled Banner”.